Sex In The City (my style)
We met weekly to talk, laugh and drink tea together. We shared our lives easily, and we knew everything about one another. Each of us had chosen to be at home full-time to raise our kids, and it was my first real group of friends. We were a tight half dozen women in our mid 30s focused on family and home.
So … not quite Sex In the City…but kinda.
We believed our close circle would never end. We knew why we were here, and what life was all about and where it was going. Or so we thought.
We didn’t think much about personal growth back then.
Based on statistics, we read that one of the six of us would get cancer and I’m sure deep inside each of us, we all hoped we’d beat that odd.
Around that time, I wasn’t feeling so well. My doctor had referred me to a specialist to inquire about help for premature menopause. I had all the symptoms, but none of it made sense because I was too young.
Unfortunately that wasn’t all that didn’t make sense.
I was deeply dissatisfied with life; my relationship was crumbling, my body was falling apart, and I was fearful of my future.
What I read in the doctor’s waiting room was to change my life forever.
I picked up a book to pass the time before my appointment. It described “The Cancer Personality“. While reading all the characteristics of someone who would more than likely get cancer, the blood drained from my face and I felt chills inside of me.
I recognized myself in the writing. I had all the signs.
I knew in that moment I would be “the statistic”, and deep inside I realized something had to change.
What decision are you not making to change your life for the better?
I know I’m here today, completely healthy, because of that decision, and many more, that flowed from that eventful day.
Deep and meaningful personal development is instrumental in healing the Mind, Body and Spirit.
According to Tony Robbins human beings have 6 basic human needs; variety, love and connection and growth, as well as contribution, certainty and significance. All our needs are being tested right now, with the continued lock down, and how we respond to the turbulence in our world.
Personal development starts with AWARENESS and FORGIVENESS.
Clearings are needed to create awakening, expansion and growth.
They give rise to an “innate knowing” that more and better is always possible. Forgiveness is one way to start! ~ Gail Scott
Can you start today with forgiveness? For yourself, others and our world. We need this more than ever for our black friends, indigenous brothers and sisters, and for all who have been persecuted and treated unfairly.
And we need it for our own reconciliation, repatriation and repair of our hearts.
Last week I received a recommendation and gift from my fellow coach, Ron Tabachnick of RT Planning Strategies.
Ron always reads my newsletters and supports me in my journey and he asked me to share this with you. It’s one of the easiest modalities I’ve come across, and as I use it frequently (especially when I’m driving) I am happy to share.
Try it and you’ll see how easy it is.
It’s called Ho’oponopono.
Here’s your free copy of how it works.
This is one of the many tools I have available to assist you in your journey of personal growth. Feel free to reach out if you’re looking for more.
This year I turned off social media because all those happy Father’s Day pictures are a grim reminder.
A reminder that days like yesterday, and Mother’s Day, are not always happy ones if you got the short straw in the parental love department.
In all my years of personal growth work, I know days like yesterday’s Father’s Day, other family celebrations and annual traditions are the worst for those of us who come from dysfunctional families.
It’s often a major trigger.
We all have our ways to cope.
Some of us do what’s “expected”. We place the calls or make the visits. Send the cards and buy the gifts. We keep up the pretense.
And for those of us who can’t.
We choose to remove ourselves and become estranged. We have no contact and pretend we are okay.
It’s safer this way.
And when we are alone with our thoughts we feel the pain, and then dismiss it.
My therapist told me once “Gail, you’ll never get over it. You can never really accept that you didn’t get the mom or dad you deserved, and you will always wish they could have been the parents you really wanted. That’s why you have to do the work“.
So I did. I did it for years.
Inner child healing. Re-parenting. Nurturing the child within.
And now it doesn’t hurt. So much.
There are others who are the lucky ones. They don’t know it.They won the jackpot.
You can’t know you are blessed when you’re used to being loved unconditionally, and treated right. When you can have your own opinions and identity and make our own choices without blame and shame. When you don’t experience criticism, control and constant critique.
Those of us who didn’t get that often got much worse.
Beatings and put downs. Sexual abuse. Too much responsibility. Lost childhoods. Heavy expectations. Lack of love.
Healing the inner child is hard any day of the week.
But it’s especially hard on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
But it’s not impossible.
You need to figure out what you didn’t get, and give it to yourself.
It’s called Radical Self Love!
So if you were one of the lucky ones, great. I’m happy for you. I probably saw your pictures on Facebook, briefly.
But if you weren’t, and you’d like to move on from your pain, reach out to me.
Inner Child Healing … It’s one of my coaching specialties. Because when you’re on the other side of it like I am, you know how to support others.
Don’t wait for next year.
None of my clients have ever said “I wished I’d waited to do this work”. They are all glad they did it. And have no regrets. Ever.
Freedom will make you feel that good.
If you’re ready let’s chat. Call or text me today!
“So … what do you want?” I ask my boyfriend one Saturday night a while back. And immediately, of course, he’s got an answer.
But I don’t want the same as him, so I say “I don’t want that” but I don’t tell him why.
He offers me another choice, and again I say “no, I don’t want that either.”
He probably thinks “third time’s a charm” so he comes up with another choice. He’s very resourceful, but I’m quick to reject that too. Looking at me somewhat confused, I see his brow furrow and his eyes get small.
“Well, what do you want, Gail?”
This wasn’t a new scenario when we were ordering take out.
Or anything else for that matter.
I know what I don’t want (that’s easy) … but I have no idea what I do want.
I hesitate. I don’t say anything, and instead of answering him, I get the local take out menus from the kitchen drawer. As I lay them all out in front of him I half-hardheartedly suggest a local Thai restaurant and I tell him quietly, like it’s an apology …
“I think I’d like mango salad“.
“Oh, so you want Thai?” he asks curiously. “Do you want mango salad?”
And as he looks at me and smiles with his big brown eyes, I’m sure inside he’s likely thinking to himself “good grief woman, would you decide what you want, for Pete’s sake“?
But instead, he says nothing, because he’s too kind for that.
“Yes, I say,” with hesitation in my voice ” I like mango salad. I, I think I want Thai“?
His voice is full of love, sprinkled with a healthy dose of exasperation, exclaiming loudly and as if there’s an audience watching, “Finally!!!! Finally she tells me what she wants” and then he laughs, and pulls me close.
“You just had to tell me what you wanted“.
It’s easier said than done if you’re used to making sure everyone else is happy.
Maybe you too have a hard time asking for what you want.
It could be like me with take out food, or a bigger deal, like asking for a raise at work, or even something as intimate as what you like in the bedroom.
Those of us who are too busy making sure everyone else’s needs are met, are worried that others won’t like us, or be happy, if we speak up.
Are you afflicted with the “Everyone Else Is More Important” dilemma?
Last week my daughter and I were going to watch a movie together. We narrowed down the selection to 3 movies and she asked me “so, what do you want to watch Mom“?
This time I answered quickly.
“Let’s watch National Treasure. I like that movie.” “Oh good” she said “that’s the one I wanted to watch too“.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
As a parent, you can be sure your kids are using you as their role model. And this is super scary, if you’ve got the “Everyone Else Is More Important dilemma” going on.
Because they will grow up to be just like you.
Catering to everyone else.
At work, in relationships, with lovers.
If you’re scared to speak up, I get it. I’ve been there.
I know how to change this.
And I’ve got your back.
What is it you really want, but don’t get in life. More money, better sex, fun?
Now more than ever, you don’t want to waste any time not getting what you want.
‘Cos time is tickin’! Everything is speeding up and you need to get moving, before it’s too late.
Working with me as your mentor and guide, we’ll create the lifestyle you want, using an in-depth discovery process. (We will also be assisted by my many, and varied, spiritual healing and channeling resources).
It might take 3 months, it may even take 6 months to get this, but that’s nothing compared to how long you’ve been dealing with this dilemma.
And I can guarantee if you make yourself a priority now, life will be different and easier in the future.
And you’ll be confident, clear and empowered. And getting what you want. And people will still like you.
So let’s get you whatever it is that your heart desires. Even if it’s just your favourite takeout!