What’s the one thing you are most afraid of? Spiders, heights, the dark?
Throughout life we are faced with all kinds of things that scare us, but I’m hedging a bet there’s something that freaks you out even more than the ones you know to be true for you.
It’s being completely yourself.
Be authentic. Go on…just TRY.
It’s not as easy as you think.
Being truly authentic is really hard.
I know. As someone who used to be completely inauthentic, I have come to realize one thing.
We ALL live our lives based on how we think others will judge us and that holds us back big time.
We hide our light in fear of what others may think. We fail to stand up for ourselves and others because we’re afraid we will lose what we have. And we don’t risk speaking our truth in case we get hurt in the process.
In my long, often arduous, but deeply rewarding journey from being totally inauthentic to finally owning my truth, I’ve learned many things. So here’s my top 4 ideas to be truly authentic.
Try them, if you’re brave enough.
Let go of the need to be liked.
Most of us grow up in families where we take on a certain “role” from a very young age. Often we are not given the space, freedom and loving acceptance to risk being who we really are. We’re put in a box, told to silence our truth, and made to conform for the comfort of others. So we jump to meet this expectation because we want our loved ones to be happy and we want to feel loved.
Getting rid of this need to people-please is so essential to living authentically. Letting go of the need to be liked doesn’t mean we don’t need love. It means knowing who we are, so that we can be respectful to ourselves and those around us, and still love and be loved. It involves releasing the need to do what everyone expects. It means letting go of making others happy and accepting gratefully that we must take care of our own happiness first.
Know what matters to you
Our desire to please others also means we have learned to deny ourselves. We drop our dreams in favor of what is important to those around us. We give up on our desires to feel loved and accepted. But when you’re living from a place of deep self-denial it never ends well.
Taking time each day to decide what you want and know what matters to you helps you build self-love so you can receive REAL love from others. Define your values. Identify what is important and what you can let go of. Then live according to yourself and not others.
Soon you’ll find yourself able to invite others into your life by being the real you.
Learn how to speak your truth
Because we have learned to please others to receive love, most of us need to develop communication tools to speak our truth once we know what that is. Saying what we really believe, our truth, can often result in getting hit with a tidal wave of disapproval from others. So instead we keep quiet and we tolerate. We allow ourselves to be controlled and we hide our light.
Speaking your truth means learning how to express what matters to you with respect for everyone involved. It means sharing your experience of what is real for you with another person in a way that allows others to be who they are. It means making requests while respecting the boundaries of another. It means being able to stand up for yourself.
Share yourself openly
When you’ve mastered not needing to be liked, can vulnerably speak your truth with conviction, and you know what matters to you, sharing yourself openly is easier. But I’m going to be real with you…at first it’s terrifying. The demons of your past and self-sabotage rear their ugly heads trying to beat you into submission so you’ll continue to play small and not shine your light.
It takes guts to be vulnerable and bold at the same time. Mastering this frees you up to enjoy life the way you were meant to.
When you come from this place, that’s when authenticity shines brightly and the world opens up in all kinds of new and wonderful ways.
I know we don’t want to think about it because we’ve had such wonderful summer weather, but we all know winter’s coming whether we like it or not.
It only took a brief moment of contemplation to realize that I needed to prepare, and that meant maintenance service to my furnace. The furnace had not been looked at for a couple of years and I wondered who to call for the job. I remembered that on the furnace there were 3 stickers of companies who had worked on it in the past, so I thought that was a good place to start.
One was out of business.
The next man told me to “just google them” when I asked about reviews (I had already done that and come up empty … not surprising!)
Moving to the last company and about 20 minutes later, after a lovely conversation with Angela of Tropic Air and Cooling, we had it all arranged; Wednesday September 16th between 10 am and 1 pm.
I remembered the guy who had come over 20 years ago and put that sticker on my furnace. He was cute as a button, honest and friendly and very knowledgeable.
Guess who came back on September 16th? Yes, the very same guy.
He was still just as cute, even more friendly and definitely more knowledgeable. He told me ALL about how my furnace was operating and I felt totally taken care of. And lucky for me he has to come back to fix 2 small things and bring me a new filter. I loved his great energy.
But it wasn’t all calm and clean before his visit.
My furnace room hadn’t been cleaned for probably 10 years. In preparation for the appointment I decided to declutter the space. It took 2 solid days of vacuuming, organizing, cleaning and moving to sort through a decade of “stuff” and mountains of dust. Followed by two trips to Value Village to donate all kinds of sports equipment, painting supplies, toys, decorations, and an old chandelier light fixture.
Personal growth is a little like this.
We have to go back in time to see what’s not needed anymore.
Vacuum out the cobwebs of old resentments.
Bring the clean air of forgiveness to move forward.
Find the strength to let go of what no longer serves you.
Welcome new people, pleasure and priorities into today.
What are you not letting go of today? Who have you not forgiven? What is still in your energy field that is causing you to stay stuck?
We are moving into a powerful New Moon in Virgo tonight which will require us to face some harsh truths, and allow us to see what we need to change to feel more grounded. Whatever action you take at this time will be key in shifting your future.
It is also critical to take time for healing on both a mental and physical level, and make concrete decisions on what matters the most to you and reorganize your priorities. Then put them front and centre in your life.
This will not be an easy period so take the time offered to us with this powerful new moon energy to do this fully. This energy will be around for a while.
I didn’t do my cleaning work in the furnace room alone. This was an extensive job which required some joint decision making with my daughters, the two most important people in my life.
The room held lots of memories and stories as we sorted through keeping decorations, ice skates and paint cans. We reminisced about the items which had served their purpose, and laughed as we remembered good times. We agreed on what had to go and what was worth keeping.
You may feel scared to create the space that’s needed for growth but if you don’t do it now, you will be forced to soon enough. Our world is up-levelling and new energies are coming in thick and fast.
There will be no space for what no longer works in the new earth that’s coming.
If you feel you’d like some direction, assistance or help, consider a private intuitive channeling session with me. This hour of your time will bring you clarity, new visions and possibilities for what’s to come. For more information read here.
“Diving into the past to understand the present is your spiritual awakening in the Now”. ~ Gail Scott
“I’ve never talked to anyone about these things” she says softly. “No one has ever asked”.
Speaking her truth, big wells of tears drop like bombs from the sky of her eyes. She curls up in the chair, cocooning herself in the soft, purple blanket that wraps her from head to toe.
She whispers to herself as if I’m not even there, “I never thought it was important, I didn’t realize I was important”.
She’s wakening up. To herself.
It’s something I take every client through.
The conversation reveals a lonely past with no loving mother and an emotionally absent father; a survival life of success that’s had to be “uber-independent”, yet lonely and unsupported.
Each week, as we work together, she wakes up more and more.
When we live a life that looks successful on the outside, yet our inside universe is crumbling with depression, anxiety or overwhelming fatigue, life is shit. It’s a shit life that looks good but doesn’t feel good.
It’s a dissatisfying life with an inner gnawing that “something’s not right”, all the time.
Or it’s a stressful life that brings an unexpected situation (normally a health and/or relationship crisis) that we don’t have time for.
I’m seeing the latter happen frequently with a combo diagnosis of depression and cancer.
Whichever one it is, life sucks.
But it doesn’t have to be like this.
Watch my Dream Life Masterclass. It’s chock full of tips and strategies to help you shift any situation. Click here to watch.
After you’ve watched it, let me know what you think.
My client and I worked together for a couple of months. When I check in with her 6 months later, she’s confidently and happily living her life with lots of exciting things going on.
She thanks me for my help in her awakening.
“I’m honored” I tell her. “It’s always an honor to help someone wake up to their greatness”.
YOUR greatness is laying in wait for you.
As the world evolves and changes, some watch and wait. Others post on social media about their new, or not so new (aka familiar), truths.
And then there are those who are too afraid, so they don’t say a word. They’re numb. In shock. Hoping it will soon go back to normal.
But there’s no going back to normal. The familiar isn’t going to work in the new world we’re moving into.
My client cried that day, because for the first time she was able to speak her truth about her life, and in the sharing of it she was released from the shackles of her inner pain. She was able to make changes and create a better future having now connected to her truth and her greatness.
Life isn’t always easy when we speak the truth. It’s also hard to recognize our greatness, but it’s always easier with someone who can really listen and is on your side. That’s the job of a good coach.
Because your truth (and your greatness) are your birthright.
If you find huge boulders of resistance to speaking your truth, that’s normal. Resistance showing up means it’s time to work on it.
Even the tiniest spiritual awakening reveals your truth and greatness and that can help shift even the biggest boulder.
Fear will never go away until you face it, and there’s no better time to wake up than right now.
Let me help you.
Click here to set up an appointment today. There’s no pressure because I don’t work with people who aren’t ready. Our conversation will simply show you where you’re at, and then you can decide.
And don’t forget about the Dream Life Masterclass. It’s free for now.