Memory Making For Your Future

Memory Making For Your Future

It was a blast from the past.  It had been 9 years since I’d seen him, so his voicemail took me completely by surprise.

“I’m not sure if you’ll remember me but I was just wondering how you’re doing?”

We first met in the middle of an ice storm in March 2011.  It was a night when only crazy people would leave their house to go on a first date. We connected right away and after talking in a quiet coffee shop for almost 2 hours we found ourselves in a nearby empty movie theatre, making out in the back row like teenagers.  We quickly discovered how to play, laugh and enjoy each other, as lovers do.

He was the first man to tell me I was beautiful and he loved my passion for life. He cooked me dinner and enjoyed listening to my stories. A musician, he had a guitar in every room of his house and after making love he would serenade me.  I would lie back and enjoy the simplicity of our time together.  

A whirlwind romance it lasted only a few months before he was just a beautiful memory of a time long ago.

What memories do you hold dear? What memories are you making now?

We are living in some difficult times.

And if you listen to the mainstream news it is very frightening.

In a recent conversation with a new connection over zoom, this person said to me “it’s scary”.

“What makes it so scary?” I asked.

She said “going for groceries and maybe dying”.

Dying is only scary if you haven’t lived your life fully.

What if every day, you could live, just a little more?

You don’t have to go anywhere to do this. You just need to be present, where you are.

Present to the simplicity of living fully.  NOW.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It’s our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  ~ Marianne Williamson

I called him back.  My lover from my past.  And we met and had dinner.  We laughed, played and enjoyed each other a decade later and leaving the restaurant we agreed to stay friends.

And we have spoken several times since. Making new memories.

What kind of memories are you making right now, and what will you remember in a decade?  Will there be laughter, play and simplicity?  Or fear, anxiety and doubt?

If you are looking for simplicity, sometimes stillness is needed.  I’ve written a short poem to bring you more connection to yourself.  I call it the STILLNESS PRAYER.

If you want better COUPLE INTIMACY this will help you understand yourself and your partner more.

And if you are SCARED, let’s have a conversation. Complete this simple form and let’s talk about how we can get you in a new frame of mind.

Trying out one of these tools won’t change everything.  But it will change one thing.  You.  And changing you will definitely give you a new memory to look forward to.

Dying is only scary if you haven’t lived your life fully. ~ Gail Scott

It’s a new kind of intimacy!

It’s a new kind of intimacy!

Our senses are deprived right now, especially the sense of touch.  And for those of us who love physical connection… especially the “touchy-feely” among us …  it’s just torture.  

Zoom is good, but it’s no match to an in-person hug, touch, or kiss.

In a recent online networking event Penny shared that when her husband comes home from work each night she has to “carefully remove everything from him” and he has to immediately shower.  She shared how strange this is.

It’s a new paradigm.

One of sensory deprivation.

I know you can relate.

Similar, but a little less drastic, let me share a story with you

Last year I dated a man who made it a priority not to be physically intimate with me. 

Let me say that again … it was his priority NOT to be physically intimate with me.

As I’m one of those “touchy-feely” people on the planet this was torture.  And not what I was used to because every other man I’d dated wanted to touch me.  Everywhere.  Often.

But over time I got to understand what was going on. 

He respected me. 

So we courted. We went for walks.  Downtown.  In the forest.  By the lake. 

We ate in many restaurants and he always made a point to sit opposite me.  He told me “I want to see you when I’m talking to you”.

We read books together.  We laughed together.  We learned about each other.

I felt the simple pleasure of holding hands. 

Our eye contact became more sacred. 

We listened to each other more deeply.  

It was a new kind of intimacy.

I felt safe.  And cared about. And valued.

Respect, care and value of another isn’t about what we do, but about who we are with another.

Several months after our dating time together ended he called me to tell me how much he had learned from me.

I felt the same.  And different.

How are you touching one another without touching one another?


You never know how much you can impact other people by being yourself.  ~ Gail Scott