It wasn’t Your Typical Father’s Day

It wasn’t Your Typical Father’s Day

This year I turned off social media because all those happy Father’s Day pictures are a grim reminder.

A reminder that days like yesterday, and Mother’s Day, are not always happy ones if you got the short straw in the parental love department.

In all my years of personal growth work, I know days like yesterday’s Father’s Day, other family celebrations and annual traditions are the worst for those of us who come from dysfunctional families. 

It’s often a major trigger.

We all have our ways to cope.

Some of us do what’s “expected”. We place the calls or make the visits.  Send the cards and buy the gifts. We keep up the pretense.

And for those of us who can’t.

We choose to remove ourselves and become estranged. We have no contact and pretend we are okay.

It’s safer this way.

And when we are alone with our thoughts we feel the pain, and then dismiss it.

My therapist told me once “Gail, you’ll never get over it.  You can never really accept that you didn’t get the mom or dad you deserved, and you will always wish they could have been the parents you really wanted.  That’s why you have to do the work“. 

So I did. I did it for years.

Inner child healing. Re-parenting. Nurturing the child within.

And now it doesn’t hurt.  So much.

There are others who are the lucky ones. They don’t know it.They won the jackpot.

You can’t know you are blessed when you’re used to being loved unconditionally, and treated right. When you can have your own opinions and identity and make our own choices without blame and shame. When you don’t experience criticism, control and constant critique. 

Those of us who didn’t get that often got much worse.

Beatings and put downs. Sexual abuse. Too much responsibility. Lost childhoods. Heavy expectations. Lack of love.

Healing the inner child is hard any day of the week.

But it’s especially hard on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. 

But it’s not impossible. 

You need to figure out what you didn’t get, and give it to yourself.

It’s called Radical Self Love!

So if you were one of the lucky ones, great.  I’m happy for you. I probably saw your pictures on Facebook, briefly.

But if you weren’t, and you’d like to move on from your pain, reach out to me.

Inner Child Healing … It’s one of my coaching specialties. Because when you’re on the other side of it like I am, you know how to support others.

Don’t wait for next year.

None of my clients have ever said “I wished I’d waited to do this work”. They are all glad they did it. And have no regrets.  Ever.

Freedom will make you feel that good.

If you’re ready let’s chat.  Call or text me today!

Why You Can’t Be Like Everyone Else Anymore

Why You Can’t Be Like Everyone Else Anymore

How do you stand out?

Energetically this is a very unique time for our world. We are going through a lot of turmoil and change and it is affecting all of us. Our planet and species is evolving faster than ever before, and our level of consciousness is rising to cope with the changes. And as much as we are all very similar, each and every one of is having a truly unique experience. We think we know who others are, yet we really have no idea what it’s like to walk in each other’s shoes, especially in these turbulent times.

Try this next time you’re at work, walking in the mall, at the grocery store … 

Look at others and ask yourself …
“I wonder who they really are?”
“I wonder what’s going on for them?”
“I wonder what it’s like to be them?”
“I wonder what keeps them up at night?”
“I wonder what makes them laugh?”

The questions are not there to be answered, just to ponder and realize that we are all unique.

Drop judgment and be interested. Most people would rather crawl under a rock than be someone who stands out.  But, don’t be like everyone else.  Be different!

1. Acknowledge YOUR uniqueness!
Seriously, you don’t want to be like anyone else. Your body is different. Your brain is different. Your life experiences are different. Wow!!! Isn’t that amazing? Honor and respect who you are, quirks and all. 

“Don’t try so hard to FIT IN when you were BORN to stand out!”

2. Don’t try to be like everyone else!
I know in our society, it is often uncomfortable to be different. Let go of the peanut gallery who wants you to be like them. You are NOT like everyone else in so many ways. Go over your life and feel gratitude for all the unique experiences you have had … even if they felt good, or not. Don’t judge. And love yourself just a little bit more.

“Don’t try so hard to FIT IN when you were BORN to stand out!”

3. Find love and acceptance for others!
Seriously, most people really only want love and acceptance. They are unique too, just like you, and they too are afraid to stand out.  But why fight it! Be yourself, and let others do the same!

Notice when you’re wanting to be like everyone else and instead, focus on what makes you feel FABULOUS and find more of that in your life.  

Every day, find one thing to tell yourself that has you feel YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT!!!

If this makes you feel uncomfortable … GOOD.  It means you are GROWING!!!

Here’s something I do … I know it’s not for everyone but it sure makes me stand out. When I order coffee, a meal or make a reservation and the server asks my name, I use a completely different one!  I say ROCK STAR!

Now what are you waiting for?  

Time is ticking … you ROCK STAR!!!