Handling Change … When You Don’t Expect It.
How we navigate change, emotional growth and challenges over the next few years is going to be tough. Your level of happiness will be determined by your ability to cope and flow with what’s coming. For all of us, it always starts at the personal level and you are never going to know how it will look.
Change comes when you don’t expect it.
Not to be overly dramatic, but I did something against the condo building rules where I live last week, and I got caught.
To add fuel to the fire of my experience, the person who reprimanded me was the daytime concierge who I had learned to steer clear of since moving into the building. She had been very unfriendly from the get go, and it had been almost one whole year since I’d had any need to speak to her.
Here’s what happened. I took a video call with my personal trainer in the condo gym, and someone complained about it.
As the concierge called me out, for my now finished video call, she shared with me that there were hateful people in the building. I found it hard to believe. I’d been working out this way every time I was staying in Toronto and no one had ever seemed bothered before.
The concierge apologized sweetly for reprimanding me, then sugar coated her conversation with big smiles and overly friendly compliments. It all felt a bit fake.
Despite my intuition nudging me to get going, and even though I was acutely aware of the distinct change in her demeanour from my earlier experiences, I absentmindedly shared my name, building number and suite.
I didn’t realize I was sealing my fate until one hour later when I received a formal email reprimand from building management, cc’d to my landlord. It could only have come from her conversation.
Hm? 🤷♀️🤔. Change was happening and I wasn’t expecting it.
I had an eerie familiar sense of self doubt. Unconsciously I knew I felt “I’ve done something bad. I should be punished. I really am a worthless, no good person.” I felt like the kid who was called out in front of my peers by the teacher. It was an old well worn story inside my head. Bad girl Gail.
This was quickly followed by a radical self-justification air of believing I can do whatever I like! No one tells me what to do. This is all very unfair. What the #@$%!!!!!
Just as quickly I shifted into a full blown victim mentality drama with myself, and anyone else, who would listen to my plight! Several friends heard all about it. Thank you for listening … you know who you are!
What was worse was a rapidly growing, icky heaviness in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t go away. Nothing I told myself relieved the unpleasant weighty sensation that was lodging itself in my solar plexus.
Of course, in hindsight I couldn’t help replaying it all, and judging myself for how stupid I’d been. Why did I continue to talk to her? Why did I tell her my name, far less my unit number? Why did I not just walk away, trusting my gut that something wasn’t right about the whole conversation?
Sometimes it’s the body that is remembering past trauma. Sometimes it’s the head, and often it’s both.
What happens for you? Do you feel anxiety in your gut like I did? Do you get chest pain or heart palpitations, or even sweaty palms? Do you relive the experience over and over, or get angry and resentful towards your persecutor, trying to talk yourself out of whatever is going on? Maybe like me, you complain to anyone who will listen.
Later that day I took myself out to the store. I needed to get the whole experience off my mind. As I walked back home, it hit me. The awful feeling in the pit of my stomach was shame. I was feeling shame and embarrassment for being wrong in the eyes of someone else who supposedly held power over me.
Shame is the lowest frequency emotion on the Map of Consciousness by scientist and spiritual teacher, David Hawkins.
Arriving home I pulled out my journal. Working myself through my emotions, I acknowledged a few pieces of the puzzle.
- I’d broken the rule. Duh? I’ve been a rule breaker my whole life. I had zero regret on that.
- I’d been caught. Oh well, that sucked.
- It was entirely possible I’d been lied to. Hm, that wasn’t nice.
- I’d been conned into giving out information that ended up recriminating me. I’d been naive and ignored my intuition. Not smart.
As soon as I journaled this I started to feel better. Then a new thought showed up.
Change was happening, and I hadn’t expected it. Was it possible this experience was happening FOR me and not TO me?
And if this was true was I ready to accept that maybe it was time for change?
I knew it was unlikely I would have voluntarily stopped working out with my trainer unless I was forced into it. It seemed I was being forced into it. There was no space in my condo, and now I couldn’t work out at the gym with her. It had been four good years of training, maybe I needed to do it for myself now.
My personal trainer and I were like family to each other now, and training or no training together, wasn’t going to change that.
Sometimes situations have to shift even though we may not think we are ready. Change comes even when we are not expecting it.
Self-confidence and self-esteem means taking the reins for your life even when you think you may not be ready.
This is what’s happening in our world right now. The energy on our planet is rapidly changing and it’s tricky to understand. Lessons are coming thick and fast in the craziest of ways to get our attention. It’s not about making anyone or anything wrong. It’s about moving forward to create the world we want to live into.
I believe this is what is happening in our world. Change is here, and we’re not expecting it.
Here’s more information on what to expect on YouTube. Your Quantum Field and the Changes Coming
Being emotionally intelligent means learning to navigate change, and accept self-responsibility. We often have to change old worldviews of ourselves and others, and move on. Being a victim, blaming others and focusing on the idea that events happen to us is old energy. Instead we are moving into a new era, one of self-awareness, a desire for a better world, and taking charge of our own part of it.
As I share my life with you, I’m here to share in your challenges. Follow me on social media to stay inspired, and consider coaching with me this year.
