This year I turned off social media because all those happy Father’s Day pictures are a grim reminder.
A reminder that days like yesterday, and Mother’s Day, are not always happy ones if you got the short straw in the parental love department.
In all my years of personal growth work, I know days like yesterday’s Father’s Day, other family celebrations and annual traditions are the worst for those of us who come from dysfunctional families.
It’s often a major trigger.
We all have our ways to cope.
Some of us do what’s “expected”. We place the calls or make the visits. Send the cards and buy the gifts. We keep up the pretense.
And for those of us who can’t.
We choose to remove ourselves and become estranged. We have no contact and pretend we are okay.
It’s safer this way.
And when we are alone with our thoughts we feel the pain, and then dismiss it.
My therapist told me once “Gail, you’ll never get over it. You can never really accept that you didn’t get the mom or dad you deserved, and you will always wish they could have been the parents you really wanted. That’s why you have to do the work“.
So I did. I did it for years.
Inner child healing. Re-parenting. Nurturing the child within.
And now it doesn’t hurt. So much.
There are others who are the lucky ones. They don’t know it.They won the jackpot.
You can’t know you are blessed when you’re used to being loved unconditionally, and treated right. When you can have your own opinions and identity and make our own choices without blame and shame. When you don’t experience criticism, control and constant critique.
Those of us who didn’t get that often got much worse.
Beatings and put downs. Sexual abuse. Too much responsibility. Lost childhoods. Heavy expectations. Lack of love.
Healing the inner child is hard any day of the week.
But it’s especially hard on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
But it’s not impossible.
You need to figure out what you didn’t get, and give it to yourself.
It’s called Radical Self Love!
So if you were one of the lucky ones, great. I’m happy for you. I probably saw your pictures on Facebook, briefly.
But if you weren’t, and you’d like to move on from your pain, reach out to me.
Inner Child Healing … It’s one of my coaching specialties. Because when you’re on the other side of it like I am, you know how to support others.
Don’t wait for next year.
None of my clients have ever said “I wished I’d waited to do this work”. They are all glad they did it. And have no regrets. Ever.
Freedom will make you feel that good.
If you’re ready let’s chat. Call or text me today!