Our senses are deprived right now, especially the sense of touch.  And for those of us who love physical connection… especially the “touchy-feely” among us …  it’s just torture.  

Zoom is good, but it’s no match to an in-person hug, touch, or kiss.

In a recent online networking event Penny shared that when her husband comes home from work each night she has to “carefully remove everything from him” and he has to immediately shower.  She shared how strange this is.

It’s a new paradigm.

One of sensory deprivation.

I know you can relate.

Similar, but a little less drastic, let me share a story with you

Last year I dated a man who made it a priority not to be physically intimate with me. 

Let me say that again … it was his priority NOT to be physically intimate with me.

As I’m one of those “touchy-feely” people on the planet this was torture.  And not what I was used to because every other man I’d dated wanted to touch me.  Everywhere.  Often.

But over time I got to understand what was going on. 

He respected me. 

So we courted. We went for walks.  Downtown.  In the forest.  By the lake. 

We ate in many restaurants and he always made a point to sit opposite me.  He told me “I want to see you when I’m talking to you”.

We read books together.  We laughed together.  We learned about each other.

I felt the simple pleasure of holding hands. 

Our eye contact became more sacred. 

We listened to each other more deeply.  

It was a new kind of intimacy.

I felt safe.  And cared about. And valued.

Respect, care and value of another isn’t about what we do, but about who we are with another.

Several months after our dating time together ended he called me to tell me how much he had learned from me.

I felt the same.  And different.

How are you touching one another without touching one another?


You never know how much you can impact other people by being yourself.  ~ Gail Scott